English
If words only account for ten percent of what we say, where does the other ninety come from? The tone of our voice has a lot to do with it, but by far the biggest communicator we have is our bodies. Unless we are pathological liars, our bodies signal pretty much everything we are feeling. It´s not just the way we stand, it´s our hand gestures, eye movements, everything. The person you´re talking to does it too – and if you know what to look for you, you can spot it.
Lying
The body is an honest thing, and lying puts it into a state of stress. The heartbeart becomes more rapid, adrenaline floods the system, and the body wants to ´catch´ the lie before it´s out. Kids even cover their mouths when they lie. Lack of eye contact, sudden smoking, scratching the nose or upper lip, looking downwards and away are all signs of lying.
Be careful with these though! Any kinds of stress can produce the same results, so if you accuse someone of doing something, they may show all these same signals even if they are innocent. Job interviews are another time that people often look like liars. It´s not just because they´ve padded their Cvs – its just plain old interview stress that makes them look shady.
Love
Well, not really love. Sexual attraction.
In men: There is a difference in men´s body language when they want sex, and when they are attracted to a woman as a potential partner. Men are pretty transparent when it comes to sexual body language: They talk sex, they stand close, they try to kiss or touch even when it´s not appropriate. They pretty much do everything except rip their clothes off – and sometimes they even do that. Body language for love is more difficult to read. Men are raised to hide their emotions, so it is not always easy to spot when they like a woman. Some things give it away though, like the pupils dilating. Pupils get bigger when we are looking at someone we like, and we also look the person in the eye (looking at a woman´s mouth is a sure signal that a guy is picturing her naked). A good test is take off a watch and lay it on the table (or some other personal item). If a man touches the item and plays with it, he is interested.
In women: You would think that smiling is a good sign right? Wrong. Women smile when they feel defensive and want someone to go away. It´s all in the teeth: Showing teeth when she smiles means that she is happy and relaxed. A tight smile with no teeth is a bad sign. A woman´s flirtatious body language is very open – she uncrosses her arms, straightens her shoulders, and lifts her chin to expose her neck. She will touch her hair, and occasionally touch the man she is interested in. Watch for the wrists too – if she exposes the underside of her wrist (the whitest part) she is interested.
Power
In business, body language closes deals. You can tell from the straight back, the lifted chin and the smile that shows no teeth (playing it cool). If someone reaches for your handshake with their palm facing down, beware: This is a highly dominant gesture and you may be dealing with someone pretty arrogant. Seating arrangements are important too – not just where you sit at the table, but if the seats are level or not: A lower position means lower status. However, remaining seated when someone else is standing is, surprisingly, the position of power. Low, controlled voice tones are important too as rushed speaking and a high pitch mean stress. Women often feel less powerful in business situations when it comes to eye contact. It´s the blinking: Women blink three times as much as men, and blinking is a sign of nervousness and being the underdog. Try not to blink so much and you may close the best deal! It doesn´t take strong body language to rent apartments in Istanbul – just a couple of clicks or a well-placed phone call and you´re on your way.
