English
The Pope has a country of his own, and every week seems to turn up another story of some tiny corner of the world wanting to be independent. We decided that in the interests of self-empowerment, we´d see how to turn your back-yard into an independent nation.
First, define the space. One of the criteria of being an independent nation is to have internationally recognised boundaries, so it´s good to start with a detailed map of your back-yard´s fenceline. This will be useful later.
Second, you must have a population. If you are the only one living in your back-yard, ask other people to move in with you. If you like, you can do this the way that East Germany did – invite people over for the day and quickly build a very big wall while they´re not looking.
Third, you need to organise an economy. Try growing fruit and exporting it to other countries. Selling an apple on the internet might be a good way to do this.
Fourth, to be an independent nation, you need to have social engineering. For most countries, this means things like schools and hospitals. If one of your new tenants has kids, ask someone to teach them how to read, or tie their shoelaces, or grow apples.
Fifth, you need a transportation system. If your back-yard is very small, put up a sign explaining how to walk.
Sixth, you will need something to pay them with. An independent nation has it´s own money. You can draw pictures on pieces of paper, or pay with apples. Defining currency is really only a matter of getting a lot of people to agree to pretend that something useless has magically turned into something valuable. Like the US dollar.
Seventh, you need a government. You don´t need votes to be the government – if you prefer a dictatorship (after all, it´s YOUR back yard) you just need to make everyone else afraid of you. You also need to be nice to anyone who is part of the UN Security Council. Give them free apples.
Eighth, you need sovereignty. This means that no other country can have power over you. This will mean you need to go to war with the country that your back-yard was in before you turned it into your own independent nation. This will not be called war, it will be called terrorism.
Lastly, you need international recognition. Not all countries in the world need to agree that you have made your back-yard and independent countries, just the popular ones. Take your map of the fenceline to your friends at the UN Security Council and ask them to call a press conference. There will be more war after this (see point eight) but after only around a hundred years of unwinnable fighting and casualties, you will at last have a pile of rubble and smoking dirt to pass on to anyone who may have survived.
Congratulations, you are independent.
Rent apartments in Helsinki, for a little R&R from all the politics.
